I’ve had a fucking bucket full of people lately. I feel like saying,  you know what here’s a big fat slice of everything. I’m trying really hard not to have this knee jerk reaction to being pissed off about things, because I know once it’s out there it can’t be taken back. I’m that fucking…

Here we are  Nige , two whole years without you on this earth. It’s not something you can prepare yourself for, even though you know the date is coming around. It seems to hit that much harder , which is strange in a way because you’re missed every other day that passes. All these months, …

Morning Nige, Just been reading the news articles on the Internet about you. I don’t know why I do it to myself. I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since you passed away. I just can’t seem to completely pull myself together.  Why does it still feel like this ? I’m still trying to…

It feels like there’s quite a lot going on at the moment,  it’s been quite  the emotional rollercoaster this past week. I’ve had a few pieces of positive news,  which is good. I also had a clear out and gave up my storage unit. As stupid as it sounds I found letting go of some…

Hello Trouble, it’s been a tricky one today. Two years since your accident,  it hardly seems possible, two whole years since the rug was well and truly pulled out. Two years since that chain of events were set in motion that would lead to your passing. I still can’t believe you’re gone , maybe it’s…

Hello Sweet, Today has been one hell of a week. Still working on things around you and I that I need to address , it’s difficult. So many secrets that mess with my head. In addition to that I’ve decided right now would be an excellent time to give both the diet and vaping another…

Alright, I’ve been thinking about things a lot, I read the messages I had from your son the other day. I know I shouldn’t go over those things but sometimes going back over all the shit is like a scab you can’t stop picking. There are bits that still annoy me, a lot of what…

Hi Nige, So, the last few days have been a bit angry. My initial reaction was to blog , however it would never be a good thing in that frame of mind. It probably would have all been blurted out , and while I know there are things I need to address I also know…

Alright Nige , Here we are,  almost at the end of March already. Trying super hard to eat well,  you’d have started in my ear with your usual, “you’re not going to lose anymore weight are you ” and “don’t lose anymore weight” .  I remember your words sometimes when I lose a bit of…

A wobbly day indoors today. I’m not sure having time on my hands is very good for me , too much time to think. Too much time to remember and get upset. Time is whizzing by in some respects, it is absolutely mad to think all this time has gone by without Nige. Nigel’s death…