Today I went and got my memorial tattoo done, it’s so beautiful. In a strange way it’s brought me some peace, I know that probably sounds a little bit mad, but hey you do what you have to do. I’ve found the last few days really difficult, so to feel that little bit of calm today has been such a relief for me both mentally and physically. The physical effects of grief caught me off guard, I wasn’t expecting the massive impact it’s had. Sure you expect the emotional side but the physical symptoms hit just as hard. Grief is this all powerful two pronged attack that exhausts you in record time and just when you think its easing it comes again. A memory, a song, a sound, a smell , a place and BOOM you’re slap bang back in the maelstrom. Tears, sleepless nights, longing, all your body aching, replaying things over in your mind repeatedly, thinking of what if’s, denial, anger. The list is endless and it shows no mercy. I don’t know if I’ll ever reach a point where I have days where there are no tears for him. The loss of an amazing person from your life is going to leave a mark, there’s no getting around it. What else has been good about today is having a catch up with my tattoo artist, it’s laid back and we talk shit, and today was the first time I’ve laughed in the longest time. I do feel guilty in a way about it but I really needed it. That slice of normal was lovely, we all need that sometimes. I hope the other people grieving can find their own little pieces of peace and have moments where things feel a little better.

Girl-Almighty