Cards on the table , I really miss sex. I know it’s maybe not the done thing to talk about it, but I do. I miss that contented fuzzy feeling it leaves in it’s wake. I miss the endorphins dancing round my brain making life happy and amazing. I miss having that connection where you…

Hello you, here we are , well into July, the year is going by quickly. It’s Tramlines this coming weekend, the fourth one you haven’t been here for. It sounds like such a long time that you’ve been gone, when you put it in those terms. Why does it still really hurt though if it…

Can you believe we’re already in July , this year is going so fast. I’m still doing far too much crying. Memories keep popping up , if only it were possible to make more. I still miss you every day, daft eh ? I’m looking for a new job , because the one I’m doing…

Bit early again but that’s OK. Quite a bit of gin has been consumed tonight and it’s just been one of those days. So let’s have a recap on where the changes are at , the food and exercise started well but have slipped a little as we get towards the end of the month.…

I’ve really been struggling the last few days , so many tears, and that awful hopeless feeling. So today it’s just been watching TV , reading , I’ve  been to fat camp and now watching the football. It would be nice to just be sat with someone , to share the space with someone. To…

Hello Beautiful Boy, still a bit stunned about yesterday, I’m glad there has been some accountability for what happened to you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. It still hurts as much as it did three years ago. I can’t quite find the right words to explain what I’m feeling today, and…

Hello Handsome, I had a blog post written and ready for today , but it wasn’t this one. In a different life our baby/ child would have been eleven years old this Friday just gone, but Jude (the name I picked ) is now a story for another day. Scrolling on Facebook today I was…

Not at the end of the month just yet , but you know po-tay-to, po-ta-to. Old habits die hard , the healthy eating has been more miss than hit for the last couple of weeks. March 2023 I was so on it and by the start of May I was two and a half stone…

Hi, survived Monday and I didn’t eat my feelings, so that at least is progress. I didn’t people at all and that’s OK. There was plenty of tears and shit , but then he makes me cry lots anyway. There are still quite a few things I haven’t felt able to write to about yet.…

Hello Handsome, Yesterday was a lot , spent a chunk of it in bed being a mardy arse. Thinking of you , lots and lots of snotty crying and later on a few drinks. Looking at your pictures thinking what an handsome bastard you were. You could be a cheeky fucker , but oh so…