Hi, survived Monday and I didn’t eat my feelings, so that at least is progress. I didn’t people at all and that’s OK. There was plenty of tears and shit , but then he makes me cry lots anyway.

There are still quite a few things I haven’t felt able to write to about yet. Maybe one of these days it will spill out. It needs consideration though, they aren’t things to be said as a knee jerk reaction.

All the emotions are still there , sadness , loneliness,  anger. At the time there was a fair bit of conjecture flying around when he  had his accident,  and people love to gossip but it was distressing to say the least.

It feels like his death has impacted my life entirely, everything feels so different now. It’s huge to think that joy and happiness, that ease and connection will never be a part of life again. It’s such a big thought.

Right now I’m just trying to keep focused on getting my weight down , that’s the number one aim. I’ve kind of cut back on the shopping , although I did buy myself a YSL lipstick the other day. The other stuff I bought are presents for people , so that doesn’t count. Feeling a bit impatient with the weight loss today , but it’ll come. Just keep swimming 🐠

Girl Almighty xx