Well by some minor miracle I’ve dragged myself through another week. Oh don’t get me wrong I’m still a total mess. Back to bouts of crying in public (and private of course), and I still haven’t managed to get my arse back to work. Everything has sort of lost all meaning to be honest. I’ve run out of some of my tablets and my GP surgery won’t give me anymore until I speak to my doctor , so I’m waiting for him to return from his fucking four week holiday. I know how angry I sound and I bloody hate it. My body aches, my brain is fried and I’m exhausted with feeling like absolute shit. I lost my little Purdy last Sunday, and yes I know people will think , oh it’s just a cat, but she was my baby. I’m breaking and the crap just keeps on coming. I’ve been feeling that rubbish I’ve even been considering unblocking the ‘big lad’s son and just let him have a go at me, it doesn’t matter anymore. People you thought were friends don’t actually give a shit, your woes are just gossip fodder , it makes me fucking sick. Why do people think my love was any less? I love him for all he was , good and bad , because nobody is perfect. I just wish life was a little easier, I’m just drifting, and quite often I feel like I’m drowning. I don’t know how to put myself back together, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as lonely as I do right now. How do you carry all the shit ? Answers on a postcard.

Girl (not so) Almighty