So many questions and no answers. Why can’t I pull myself together? Why am I finding everything so difficult? I don’t know why I can’t just dust myself off and get on with everyday life. I don’t know why I’m finding the day to day so hard , other people manage it so why can’t I? Maybe not being able to face work is understandable given what happened. Maybe I need to find a new career path now. I wish I had someone who understood perfectly the enormity of your loss, how the ripples of your passing touch everything. I can’t stop crying and I feel weak and stupid , I also feel really isolated,  I wish I had an ally. Thoughts of you haunt my days , it breaks my heart when I think of all the things you’ll miss. You were bloody amazing,  even if you were shit sometimes at taking a compliment. Did it help when I listened when you needed to talk ? I hope it did , I hated it when you were stressed. I wish my phone would ping with a message from you or ring and your name would be lit up on the screen. I miss your smile and your hugs. I miss the way you made me feel. I wish it would have been anyone but you that was hurt. I’m a mess  without you around , there’s no joy anymore. I love you so much and miss you more than you’ll ever know 💔

Girl Almighty x