Hi, I listened to your voice today , I don’t know why I do it to myself . I’m just stuck in this place , stuck in this feeling. Maybe I’m so over emotional because I’m really tired and really lonely. You inspired such love,  sometimes for a second I wonder if it would have been better never knowing the happiness you brought to me. Of course that’s just a stupid moment,  how could I ever regret meeting you, even though it hurts so much now. The pain is indescribable,  and it doesn’t stop. I can barely remember what it’s like to have a day where I don’t cry. Fucking stupid aren’t I ? I could do with trying to earn some money, it’s hard to get motivated though , also it makes me think of you too, as you were involved in it too. At night sometimes I cuddle my body pillow and close my eyes , I remember how it felt , the side of my face pressed against your chest, your big arms and hands holding me. It was the best place in the whole world. Your skin was lovely and soft, I used to tell you that you were perfect and you’d say you weren’t,  but you always were to me. I was told that you were violent , but you never were to me. You always made me feel safe and protected. I love and miss you so much Handsome , I’d give anything and everything for you to still be here. Love you sweetheart 💔🥺