Hey Handsome

You’re still there , front and centre, you always will be, but I need to try and find a way to exist without you around. I’ve been talking it through and I know that there are things I need to do concerning you , things I should have done before now. I’ve tried all sorts  these past 14 months to try and find a little comfort. Other people seem to be able to be out there enjoying themselves,  I want a little of that too, I want life to feel normal again. It will always make me sad that you told me how low you felt in what would be your last months here, but I’m glad you felt I made things better. It was all I ever wanted for you , for you to be truly happy. So if I try and make progress it’s not that I’ve forgotten about you, I never could , it’s just that I crave some peace. Some things have disappeared for good , but my memories of us will remain. I just wish it didn’t hurt this much, I suppose it’s the price for caring so much about another person. You’ll always be in my thoughts every single day , that will never change, but it feels very cruel that you had such a short time. I’ve had my tattoo for you a year , in some ways it feels like a lifetime ago and in other ways it feels like yesterday. Tramlines is at the weekend,  another thing that reminds me of you. You meant different things to different people,  but to me you were , and always will be , the love of my life and my best friend and I’ll spend the rest of my days missing you. One day I hope I get to see you again. I love you xx

Girl Almighty