Morning Nige,

So, I’ve been trying to recapture the “normal ” that I once knew, but what I’ve learnt is that it has well and truly gone. You being gone takes the shine off things , the guilt of even thinking about enjoying stuff when you can no longer enjoy life and make memories is unbearable , and just feels in such bad taste. I know the world isn’t going to stop , but I kind of wish it would sometimes , just let me catch my breath. Still crying all the time , it’s said time heals but that’s a load of bollocks. I still get angry sometimes about what happened,  I can’t help it. Thoughts I don’t want still pop in my head sometimes,  the thought of you hurt and in pain still rips my insides out. You should have had so much more life ahead of you. You were one of a kind , irreplaceable. How does anyone get over a loss that effects them so deeply? Most of the time I don’t know what to do with myself, I’ve tried all sorts,  mad shit , you’d have pissed yourself at , but there are times when you’re willing to try anything. Every day just feels like a trial now.

There will never be the words to describe just how much I miss you. I love you so very much 💔

Sleep gently darling

Girl Almighty