Well, you’re still on my mind everyday. The best bits , the bad bits and everything in-between. I remember the way you used to do that side eye look,  your lips pressed together in a thin line. You’d do that look at strangers when we were out and about. You also did it when you had the kite on , that look always made me think of a shark. I got that look when you thought I’d been out copping off with someone else. I wasn’t,  I’d been to see Jason Fox from the SAS programme with my sister,  you bloody idiot. Just because you looked for a bit of strange it never meant I did. My sister used to say you reminded her of Gru from Despicable Me, and I’d always defend you, to me you were a handsome devil.I think of some of the things I put up with from you and I think I must have been so bloody stupid, but it’s funny how loving a person can distort your boundaries, suddenly you place yourself behind them in importance. You put aside your wants and needs for that other person,  even if it’s at the detriment of your health,  your dignity, your self esteem. Then all of a sudden everything’s gone , everything you held so dear. I acquiesced to some of your wants and needs , some of them I enjoyed , sometimes I’d need to talk to you because you’d take it too far. My love for you was always constant , and still is , you were a charming bugger that’s for sure. It took you a long time to open up about some things but you did eventually. It sometimes made me sad how you’d say you hid a massive part of yourself from people, but we’ve all got hang ups haven’t we ? At this time of year I always think of you alone and in the cold , you could be a bit nesh couldn’t you ?

Sorry had to take five minutes , felt the tears pricking my eyes, I’m such a fucking silly bitch, it’s no way for a grown arse woman to behave is it ? I went to look at a new house the other week,  but in reality I’m not sure I’d ever be able to leave where I am and my memories of you , of us. You once said you’d come anywhere to spend time with me. This was meant to be a longer post but the tears are rolling freely now , so I guess there will just have to be a part two to this blog post. Love you all the world and remember it’s not goodbye,  it’s see you later. Love you 💔❤💙 xx

Girl Almighty