Hey, so I’m sorry but I need to talk about the last couple of years of you. Things that hurt to think about but I can’t forget. When you turned up at my door after the big blow out that I really believed was the end of us for good. You told me things that hurt me then , and still hurt me now. You told me you’d done something,  that you had felt lonely and you’d hoped it would offer some short term relief. You told me it wasn’t what you thought it would be , it didn’t make you feel the way you hoped it would. All the time you were telling me about it you just stared down at your feet. I felt so sorry for you in that moment,  you just looked so sad , it was horrible seeing you like that. It makes me cry thinking about it now. What were your last few months , even though we didn’t know it , you would talk about how stressed you felt about money. You were having panic attacks, you told me when you had a really bad one you were frightened because you thought you were having a heart attack. It broke my heart , the way you said you felt. It’s horrible thinking at times during those last months you were struggling,  nobody wants that for someone they love and care about. I hope,  if there is something after , that you are at peace. I just wish you’d had more time. More time to be happy,  to feel content. I love you more than any words could really describe. I’ll put the fairy lights on for you later and get the soft blanket out 💔

Girl Almighty