December already, how the hell has it come around so quick Nige ? It’s crazy to think this will be the second Christmas without you around. It makes me want to cry. The last few days I’ve just been holed up indoors , reading some cosy little books that don’t require too much thinking. One morning last week I woke up crying , I was still a little groggy, and then I felt some extra warmth and I felt a little calmer and drifted back to sleep. It would be lovely to think it was you , that warm feeling,  slipping in beside me for a squidge. I’m probably just losing my marbles a bit aren’t I? The fairy lights are on in all their glory , I love them , the soft lights seem to make everything calmer and soft focus. Of course they don’t stop the tears and the hurt , nothing does,  it’s just the way things are now, but if I can snatch some moments of relative calm that’s something. Looking through my phone the other day I saw a picture you sent me of yourself,  you were so beautiful, you never stopped giving me butterflies. Soppy or what ? Everyone says time is a healer , but that’s a big lie. Those emotions burn as bright and fiercely today as they did when all this first happened. When you were hit by that car , the beginning of the end. My love for you will never wane, and I’ll never ever forget you. I love you so much.

Speak soon

Girl Almighty