Hi Nige , I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas,  it doesn’t feel like it at all. I’m channelling Rudolph though , I’ve copped for flu 🤧 . The aim at the moment is to try and relax , I spoke to someone  I know , and they think that the episodes of facial paralysis I’ve been getting could be stress related. You can’t get a gp appointment at my doctors surgery for love nor money,  it’s a bit frustrating. Still missing you tons you know, that’s just the way it is now. I’m still searching for that elusive new way forward , maybe I’ll find it yet eh ? It’s weird even now , the thought that another year will be starting soon  that you’ll play no part in , another year you won’t exist in , well not physically at least. That’s a hard pill to swallow. Your death has changed me, people on the whole now just get on my nerves to be honest. A lot of the time I just think “fuck this shit” , I just can’t be arsed making the effort. As always I wish you were still here , my ray of sunshine in all the bullshit, never perfect but always more than enough. I’m so lonely now , sometimes it really takes it’s toll. Sometimes I think it must be lovely to go out and have a merry old time , smiling for pictures without a care in the world. That’s beyond me now though , the world feels like it’s fallen off it’s axis. Night , night for now beautiful man. The man I’d dreamt of meeting for such a very long time. I love you then , now and always.

Girl Almighty