Hey, very weepy day today, tomorrow it will be 20 months since the accident,  and in a few short days a brand new year will begin. I feel really frightened today, some days are like that , scared that nothing will ever feel alright again. Scared that I’ll never have the feeling that everything will be OK, the feelings you brought to me and gave me. The word loneliness doesn’t seem adequate,  of course I am lonely,  desperately so, but the word doesn’t match the enormity of the feeling.

Trying so hard to pull myself together,  but I just wish I had someone to talk to , someone who gets it. I’m really struggling Nige , I’m a fucking idiot aren’t I? It wouldn’t matter if I’d never seen you again if only you were still alive. Instead you’re all alone in the ground. Why couldn’t things have gone differently ? Why did you have to die ? Questions with no answers , that’s all that’s left. How I miss the moments of you that brought such happiness. I miss you so very much. Love you darling 🥺💔😢

Girl Almighty