A wobbly day indoors today. I’m not sure having time on my hands is very good for me , too much time to think. Too much time to remember and get upset. Time is whizzing by in some respects, it is absolutely mad to think all this time has gone by without Nige.

Nigel’s death has changed so much , and so much of it is hard to quantify in words, they all seem inadequate. I sort of feel like I’m trapped in a maze and I can’t find my way out. A mass of emotions wash over me in waves , pulling me under. I wish I had a person in my life who understands, someone who just knows.

I miss so much , a hug , a smile , just the stupid little things. Not long before he died one day we spent some time together and went to a pub for lunch , just an everyday pub lunch , but it was one of the best days of my life. He just made me so happy,  and I’d do or give anything for him to still be alive. Life doesn’t work that way though, sometimes things fall apart.

Girl Almighty