Alright Nige ,

Here we are,  almost at the end of March already. Trying super hard to eat well,  you’d have started in my ear with your usual, “you’re not going to lose anymore weight are you ” and “don’t lose anymore weight” .  I remember your words sometimes when I lose a bit of weight, how stupid is that ? Another failed attempt at stopping the ciggies, you persuaded me to try vaping a few times but I never stuck to it , but I really do need to pack in the fags for my health.

I don’t know , when did I stop being that person who walked their own path ? Where did the girl who pierced her own nose at 13 years old and got her first tattoo at 16 go ? I did a pretty good with my nose though , even now I can get a ring or a stud in if the mood takes me.

I really miss physical contact, I miss your hugs , they were bloody brilliant , absolute bliss. It’s not just the hugs I miss , it’s everything.  One of the shitty bits of us still really, really hurts , but it doesn’t make me love you any less , or miss you any less.

I really need to get my arse into gear and start earning some pennies. Time is flying , but I’ve pretty much been standing still. The dreams I held don’t seem that important now, and I still can’t believe that you’ve ceased to exist , in a physical sense at least. You’re physical being is decaying and disappearing, and even though it’s a natural part of life it just feels so very wrong.

You were a loveable bundle of mischief and trouble, insatiable desires , charm in spades,  you knew how to turn it on when you wanted to , and I miss every part. I miss laying together our noses touching , seeing you smile , the softness of your skin , hearing your laugh, talking to you and you being here to reply.

And here they come , the fucking tears ,speak to you soon you bloody big  handsome bugger. Love you ❤️

Girl Almighty xx