I’ve been trying to get organised, map out a new path. I’ve been making lists and plans, it’s helpful getting it all written down. Changes that I need to make. I finally think some people have stopped reading my blog , they never took up my offer to ask whatever it was that they wanted to know. Maybe they have all the answers that they wanted now. These past two and a half years have had such a massive impact, a nightmare there is no waking from. Did you ever think you’d have this effect on people Nige ? I feel guilty for imagining a better life , but I know I’ve got to try and find a way. God I miss you , you know.

I’ve been thinking of a new career , and what I need to do to try and get where I’d like to be. I miss my old job a lot , it really felt like my vocation. Though I know that chapter is over.

I miss having someone to love , someone to talk to , someone to share things with. I miss sharing food , and conversation , hugs and sex.

Sometimes I still get pissed off with you , for leaving me in the situation you did , unable to even say goodbye to you. You said you’d never hurt me and that was a lie. You broke my heart you know. Why did it have to end the way it did ? That’s the million dollar question isn’t it.

Girl Almighty