Hello Nige,

I’ve been thinking about the reasons I fell for you so hard, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it was the whole package of you. I felt like I could truly be myself with you, I could talk to you, I felt safe with you. You were an handsome bugger, you were in great shape , your body was beautiful and the sex was amazing. You made me laugh, and sometimes cry, but nobody’s perfect. How could I ever meet anyone who could even come close to you ? I miss every one of the reasons why I adored you. I dream about you sometimes and those dreams linger long after I wake up into a world where I exist but you no longer do. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all have a sliding door moment. A moment where just one relatively small, different decision could change everything to a better outcome. That’s not real life though is it ? My emotions feel really big tonight and my face is wet with tears. Who would ever have thought that one person could cry so many tears ? My memories of you make me smile but they also make me cry , it’s like I have to have both sides of the coin , the good and the bad. Next Tuesday it will be two and a half years since you passed,  that’s a proper head fuck. It still feels a little obscene that you aren’t around anymore. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just want a hug and to feel everything could be OK,  but you were the person that brought those things , you were the person that comforted, so now I don’t know what to do. Gonna sign off for tonight big lad OK, loving and missing you always.  ❤️💙💔

Girl Almighty