After a long period of not taking very good care of myself,  now is the time to pull my socks up and change things up. I’ve really been feeling the effects of letting everything slide, so now I need to be at that point where I make improvements. We live in an age where people are judged on everything, and that can be difficult sometimes. I’ve always been supportive to the people in my life , sometimes to my own detriment . I’ve been working through some things at counselling which has been hard , addressing things out loud. I know people would think how could I possibly love someone who told me that they had fantasies about raping me and that on a break they’d paid for an escort. In a way those things do make me feel uncomfortable but then I know in reality lots of men harbour rape fantasies , nothing sinister is meant by them and in reality they don’t want to hurt anybody. I know some people would be disgusted by these things , so am I unconsciously letting the status quo on the subject cloud how I feel about it ? I suppose it could come back to other people judging , thinking I’m stupid for loving. I know I was stupid in some ways , but I can’t claim ignorance,  I knew but the love I felt  softened everything. He wasn’t a  bad man, I truly believe that , but somethings still play on my mind and upset me at times. I know some people will think me stupid but I can’t control or change that, all I can do is try and get myself in a better place.

Girl Almighty