Been thinking about lots of stuff lately. Last week I saw my dream home, a real forever home ,whatever forever is. It was always one of my goals. Now I’m not sure I could leave where I am and all the memories it holds. I feel so unsettled, life feels uncertain and scary right now.…

Well, I hit 5-0 last weekend, it was very low key. Just went for lunch at the pub with John, one of my sisters and my mum. It’ll be your birthday soon , your 49th. It’s mad to think when we first started I was 35 and you were 34 , it feels like a…

Hey Nige, So it was Tramlines this weekend just gone, it was nice to get out and about. It was bittersweet as it does make me think of you. It’s another missing piece. After not letting my picture be taken for so long, these past couple of years I’ve changed that. Life is too short,…

Hey, I’ve been doing so much soul searching,  I think the last few counselling sessions have really brought lots of thing’s to the surface. You know me, I can’t lie to myself, my great nan always said that it’s better to be hurt by the truth than be made happy with a lie. I remember…

Hi Trouble , you know yesterday I really wasn’t trying to be hurtful about you. It’s just emotions rearing their heads , the way you said you could talk to me , well this is my version of that. You were bloody hard work sometimes you know. In a way I’m glad that you felt…

So , here I am to unburden myself, it isn’t about disrespecting you , I need to get things off my chest for myself. Sometimes I do wish I’d not become caught in your web. I was drawn in by your charm and your lies , and by the time all became clear I’d fallen…

I can’t believe we’re already in July. I’m treading water with my diet at the moment,  not gaining,  not losing , just staying the same. It’s my birthday in a month and while I’m planning to take myself off and do a few things , it will be very low key. Treating myself at the…

Hi Nige, I’m just breaking down all the time lately. I’m exhausted and I’m lonely and I’m pissed off. I feel on edge and I’m  restless. Still doing the whole counselling thing, but to be honest I don’t feel like I’m making any progress. You go and talk , bear your soul and get upset…

Hi Sausage , I’ve been a proper bitch this week , over tired , over emotional and I definitely haven’t wanted to people. Last night I curled up with a takeaway and a cozy crime novel, which kind of helped. Nothing quite does the job as well as one of your squidges though, but if…

I’ve had a fucking bucket full of people lately. I feel like saying,  you know what here’s a big fat slice of everything. I’m trying really hard not to have this knee jerk reaction to being pissed off about things, because I know once it’s out there it can’t be taken back. I’m that fucking…