Hi, I listened to your voice today , I don’t know why I do it to myself . I’m just stuck in this place , stuck in this feeling. Maybe I’m so over emotional because I’m really tired and really lonely. You inspired such love,  sometimes for a second I wonder if it would have…

Hi Nige , Just a quick one tonight,  today has been a beautiful day  weather wise, it may even  have been a ‘you full kit off in your shed looking fit af’ kind of day. God I miss you , I wish you could have been saved. What’s wrong with me ? Why does it…

Well  today,  by the skin of my teeth, I’ve dodged having to have a blood transfusion. I’m taking that as a win , I may need one later, but I’ll cross that bridge if and when I get to it. I need to start taking better care of myself , and I’m trying to ,…

Hey Handsome It’s been a bit , but I’ve been reyt cream crackered these past few weeks. You’ve still been in my thoughts everyday though , still missing you loads you know. Been thinking about different little memories of you. When you sometimes used to tell me you were outside and I’d look out of…

I’m not even sure where to start, this last year has been a real strain, and this weekend has been really difficult. I still can’t believe it’s been a whole year since Nigel passed away, and it hurts just as much as it did a year ago. I’m trying to gear myself up for another…

Evening Nigel, Today has felt strange,  you know when everything feels off kilter, not quite right . I’ve felt very scared today , I can feel myself getting down. I think I need to try and get outdoors , get some fresh air and busy myself. I’m trying to lose weight , but your voice…

It’s coming up to the year mark of Nigel’s passing and I’m still trying to get my head around it all. Sometimes,  even after all these months , it hits me again that he’s really gone. I know that sounds stupid , but it’s almost like it’s all been a nightmare and he’s still here…

Alright Nige, I spent a few days at the coast last week, so I got to miss you in new and exotic places,  well it wasn’t new or exotic but you know what I’m trying to say. You know you really can’t outrun life, the good and the bad, no matter where you go  or…

Hey , so I’ve actually started changing a few things , but it feels wrong because you’re gone. I need to get my shit together but it feels uncaring trying to live some kind of life. Sometimes I get angry at you but I don’t really mean it, I’m angry at the situation. It’s coming…

How can time simultaneously freeze in a moment and yet carry on ? Everything feels out of kilter. If I’m honest what I really wished (after wanting you still here of course)  is someone who really understood. Someone who knows how horrendous these last 10 plus months have been. Everything feels really difficult now ,…