• I Love You Truly

    Hi Nige, Saturday was a very hard day. My emotions felt super heightened,  and I was extremely emotional. There was an ocean of tears cried. The pain of your death is constantly there, but sometimes it builds and builds into a tsunami of feelings. I’m glad I’ve taken a little time for my emotions to…

  • Falling To Pieces

    Hello Nige, It’ll be your birthday soon , the second one without you here. I’m still missing you massively,  I’m really struggling at the moment and you always made everything feel better. I just can’t get a grip lately,  there’s so much going on. I saw so many terrible things on A&E , but despite…

  • Normal, what’s normal ?

    Morning Nige, So, I’ve been trying to recapture the “normal ” that I once knew, but what I’ve learnt is that it has well and truly gone. You being gone takes the shine off things , the guilt of even thinking about enjoying stuff when you can no longer enjoy life and make memories is…

  • Pop up memories

    Out of nowhere tonight a memory popped up. “I don’t care about anything else, I just need to see you now” , I remember you saying that to me two years ago today. I miss our calls , our texts , our moments. I sat on the bed we laid in together today , I…

  • Finding a way forward

    Hey Handsome You’re still there , front and centre, you always will be, but I need to try and find a way to exist without you around. I’ve been talking it through and I know that there are things I need to do concerning you , things I should have done before now. I’ve tried…

  • Living in a muddled mind

    I’m finally going to talk about the elephant in the room, the elephant being mental health. Yes progress has been made , but there is still so much ignorance surrounding the subject. The sad fact is that we as people love to judge. Personally I’ve had ups and downs with my mental health for as…

  • Just having a little wobble

    Just sat thinking about things. In two weeks it’ll be Tramlines, I remember two years ago , lovely memories ❤ , but it would be your last summer and we never even knew it. My heart aches for all the things you’ll miss, all the life you should still be living. All the thousands of…

  • Birds of a Feather and Owls in the Park

    So , it’s been a little time Nige. I was going to say ‘When did life become so surreal’ , but I know exactly when things changed. It was Owls in the Park this Saturday just gone , ordinarily you’d have been there , enjoying the day. The same day on my memories was a…

  • You’re my little belter, you know that don’t you ?

    Evening Nige Do you remember saying those words to me ? It feels like a lifetime ago , in truth it was just under two years ago. The thing is I didn’t always know. Today I’m fucked off that I gave you so much and you left me in this shit storm , you left…

  • Out of sorts

    Hi It’s been one of those strange days today , you know where you just feel uneasy in yourself. I went past where your accident happened today , the sign has finally gone. I’m grateful to whoever took it down , but needless to say , I wish it had never needed to be put…