Evening Nigel, Today has felt strange,  you know when everything feels off kilter, not quite right . I’ve felt very scared today , I can feel myself getting down. I think I need to try and get outdoors , get some fresh air and busy myself. I’m trying to lose weight , but your voice…

It’s coming up to the year mark of Nigel’s passing and I’m still trying to get my head around it all. Sometimes,  even after all these months , it hits me again that he’s really gone. I know that sounds stupid , but it’s almost like it’s all been a nightmare and he’s still here…

Alright Nige, I spent a few days at the coast last week, so I got to miss you in new and exotic places,  well it wasn’t new or exotic but you know what I’m trying to say. You know you really can’t outrun life, the good and the bad, no matter where you go  or…

Hey , so I’ve actually started changing a few things , but it feels wrong because you’re gone. I need to get my shit together but it feels uncaring trying to live some kind of life. Sometimes I get angry at you but I don’t really mean it, I’m angry at the situation. It’s coming…

How can time simultaneously freeze in a moment and yet carry on ? Everything feels out of kilter. If I’m honest what I really wished (after wanting you still here of course)  is someone who really understood. Someone who knows how horrendous these last 10 plus months have been. Everything feels really difficult now ,…

Evening Nige Where do I even start ? So many thoughts are in my head but when I try and write them down it’s all just a jumble. You’d think my feelings and emotions about you would have settled a little by now, but it feels like I’m wading in treacle. I still cry over…

Evening Handsome , today has been an extra hard one. I’m feeling very low big ‘un. I wish I could just rest my head on you and cuddle. I’ll probably write tomorrow. Wish you were here. Rest gently my love , night , night xx Girl Almighty

Evening Handsome, so ten months today was the beginning of the end , and it must having been playing on my mind because I had a dream about you last night. You were stood in the middle of a field , the grass thick and a lovely green , you looked so happy. I was…

Alright Handsome , Where has all the time gone ? Thirteen years ago today we went on our first date, I remember it well. You were so easy to talk to , it wasn’t awkward or forced. That smile of yours , so disarming,  you bloody handsome bugger. I wish I could go back in…

Hey Nige, Wide awake again , conversations we had are just replaying over and over in my head. Memories of you swim before my eyes. How is it even possible for something to hurt this much ? Honestly , I never imagined anything could hurt this much. All sorts of stupid little things remind me…