Eight days into the month , and it feels like I’m on high alert for the 11th to arrive. I’m not a big drinker now , but alcohol will definitely be involved on Monday. Every day since he died has been horrible, but it’s the marker isn’t it , three years. The thought of it makes the air catch in my throat,  and the tears threaten to fall, and let’s face it crying in public isn’t a good look. Being really good on the diet , but my blood pressure is high at the moment,  so I’ve been trying really hard to relax. The weird thing is the harder I try to unwind the more stressed  I get, it’s like I really feel the pressure to relax because stress is so damaging to health. I used to get stressed about losing weight , now I just think any loss is a good loss, it’s getting me to where I want to be. I’m much more focused on how well I’ll feel physically when I’ve shifted the chunk. That is my motivation , to be healthy. Went to the theatre earlier in the week to see The Spy Who Came In From The Cold , it was very well done. Also it was lovely to spend a few hours out, put a bit of lippy on.

I really miss him ,miss the connection,  that feeling of longing doesn’t go. I miss him against me, I miss him wrapped around me.

Girl Almighty xx