Hey Handsome, Summer has turned to Autumn and as always I miss you. I lay in bed when everything is still and quiet and I ache for you. There are those moments when I just can’t believe that I’ll never see you again. My memories of you are still so vivid it almost feels like I’m back there in those moments. That I can still feel you as flesh and blood , that I can hear your voice in real time as you speak.

You brought such happiness to my life , and I’m beyond grateful that we met, but my god, how it hurts now you’re gone. So many days just existing daytime into nighttime, and the same thing all over again the next day.

I’m actually doing well on the whole losing weight, getting healthy project. I know it will play on my mind when I get to the point where you’d always ask me not to lose anymore weight , but when I reach that point I’ll have to try and push through it.

Sometimes I think about the little things that you wanted to do , little things you wanted to try , and you never got the chance. That makes me so very sad, along with the fact that the last few months for you were blighted by panic attacks. It was horrible hearing you frightened,  thinking you were having an heart attack. I wish I could have taken those feelings away for you. You said talking helped.

I wish we could still talk , well I still talk to you all the time, but you know what I mean. Life eh, what’s it all about ?

I miss you, so, so much and I love you even more. In fact I love you more than Cheesecake,  and you know how much I love Cheesecake.

Bye for now beautiful boy

Always

Girl Almighty