Hello beautiful boy, it’s 01:40 and I can’t sleep. It’s one of those nights where things are just playing over and over in my mind. Memories of you, God I miss you. I long to be held , but only by you, and I know that will never happen again, and the loneliness feels suffocating…

A little bit of progress this month but not masses. It’s been a bit wobbly this month . My shopping compulsion has been off the flipping scale lately , that’s the main thing that I really need to concentrate on at the moment. I’m still pushing ahead with trying to make April and May no…

Hey, the excessive shopping has been off the scale this week. I don’t need one single thing that I’ve bought, I’m just doing it to feel good. I need to get an handle on it, I’m going to try and have April and May as no non essential spending months. The thing is buying stuff…

Hey, so today trying to stop procrastinating and actually take some steps forward. I think it’s evident that I need to take action and initiate a little bit of a fresh start. Give my life a bit of a shake up , find a better way of living. There’s a lot to do , so…

Quiet Sunday today, just getting some everyday stuff done. Been doing so much overthinking lately,  I don’t know why on earth I do it to myself. Recently I’ve been really , really longing to just be held , no speaking , to just feel alright and safe in a pair of arms. You’re gone though…

Having a bit of a wobble this week, just don’t feel well within myself. Had an absolute nightmare of a migraine for a few days and now really bad postdrome (migraine hangover). It’s not the worst attack I’ve ever had, but it’s up there. I got really upset about the baby the other night ,…

Hello Sausage I’m a reyt little crab apple today, I’ve only had about three hours sleep and I feel super tired. I’ve got so much to do, could really do with a little light relief that’s for sure. Just finished the latest book that I’ve been reading. It was a bit of a hard read,…

Update on the life reset, so what started in January as some new little routines, to improve myself and my life, has now evolved into a full scale military operation. It’s no secret that over the past few years I haven’t taken care of myself. Grief,  stress, anxiety and huge changes have impacted me in…

So there I was scrolling on Vinted , and someone was selling some framed cross stitch pieces that they had made. One reminded me of you straight away. It couldn’t have fitted anymore perfectly , you and your fantasies bugger lugs. Of course i bought it. I still miss every single part of you every…

Hi Sausage , I decided a brilliant end to January would be to fall down a flight of stairs,  ffs. I think my days as a stuntwoman are over. Done a proper job on my shoulder and a bit bashed, bruised and aching in a few other areas. What am I like eh ? When…