Hi Darling, Been reading old diaries today , all those memories of you and me. I’m thinking of decorating my place , the way I spoke about it to you. You said it would look nice how I was planning to do it , you’ll never see it now though. In a way I don’t…

Hello Handsome, Today I’m really missing your physicality. I’d really love to rest my head on you and let you pull me in close. Just to feel the comfort of your presence, just let the feeling of calm wash over, all the shit of the day ebb away. I’ve got such a bad tension headache…

Alright Nige Got to the end of another week 🥺. I had to go somewhere earlier in the week and had to go past where your accident was. The sign is still up , “Serious Collision Occurred Here” , I wish someone would take it down. It’s so matter of fact , don’t people understand…

Hello Darling, This week I’ve been told I’m experiencing “prolonged grief”, apparently it can happen when someone passes suddenly , among other reasons. It’s Sunday evening and I’m just thinking of the times we’d talk on a Sunday , you’d ask me how my day had been and what I’d been up to. I miss…

Hi Nige,  I came across the term ‘grief fatigue ‘ the other day and I guess it sums up how I feel. I’m really tired of feeling so terrible all the time. All my emotions are jumbled up inside , I miss you , I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact you’ve…

Here we are , the start of another year. As you know I’ve never been one for resolutions, and even if I were I don’t think I’d bother to be honest. Plans last year all went to pot , it all went tits up didn’t it ? I tell you I’ve learnt that just when…

Hi Babe, We’re at that middle in between part where nobody knows what day it is. I’m dreading the New Year, I don’t want to start a new year , it feels like leaving you behind in 2023. On Christmas Day I went and had lunch with J , my sister and nephew. I drank…

It’s here, Happy Christmas darling. I’m heartbroken that you’re not around to enjoy everything,  it’s so wrong that you’re gone. I still think of you everyday you know , I miss you enormously. I haven’t bothered this year , there really doesn’t feel like there is anything to celebrate. They lied , time doesn’t heal…

So Nige, December is completely kicking my arse, maybe it’s because as the year ending approaches people reflect on things. All I know is I don’t want to start a new year knowing you won’t be starting it too. All I want is to run towards you. Everything feels like it’s slipping away and as…

Just a quick one , it’s 5:55am and I haven’t been able to sleep. Thought’s and memories are running over and over. There are things you told me that I wish you never had. One of the things you told me makes me feel sick and sad for you all at the same time. Why…