Here we are , the start of another year. As you know I’ve never been one for resolutions, and even if I were I don’t think I’d bother to be honest. Plans last year all went to pot , it all went tits up didn’t it ? I tell you I’ve learnt that just when…

Hi Babe, We’re at that middle in between part where nobody knows what day it is. I’m dreading the New Year, I don’t want to start a new year , it feels like leaving you behind in 2023. On Christmas Day I went and had lunch with J , my sister and nephew. I drank…

It’s here, Happy Christmas darling. I’m heartbroken that you’re not around to enjoy everything,  it’s so wrong that you’re gone. I still think of you everyday you know , I miss you enormously. I haven’t bothered this year , there really doesn’t feel like there is anything to celebrate. They lied , time doesn’t heal…

So Nige, December is completely kicking my arse, maybe it’s because as the year ending approaches people reflect on things. All I know is I don’t want to start a new year knowing you won’t be starting it too. All I want is to run towards you. Everything feels like it’s slipping away and as…

Just a quick one , it’s 5:55am and I haven’t been able to sleep. Thought’s and memories are running over and over. There are things you told me that I wish you never had. One of the things you told me makes me feel sick and sad for you all at the same time. Why…

So December is right around the corner and before we know it 2024 will be here. It’s hard to think of a new year starting, a year you’ll not be a part of. It seems so wrong, time marching on without you being around. Yet it does and it feels like you’re going further away,…

Hi Nige Well tomorrow it will be six whole months since you passed. I can still remember those days so clearly,  the days between the accident and finding out you’d gone. The days of endless tears and fear and trying to make stupid deals with a God I’m not sure i believe in. Just hoping…

Hey Big Lad, Today’s been a really hard one. I read something earlier that made me think of the bad times we had , there were a few , of course there was. Times that really hurt. It’s just really got to me , fucking daft eh ? I just feel so stuck and scared,…

Evening Nige, Well it’s been a while but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you. You’re in my thoughts every single day. It still completely breaks me that you’re not here anymore. I still can’t believe what’s happened, it seems so unreal still. I bloody miss you so much you know. I feel…

Hi Nige, Now seems the right time to write this to you. I think your eldest son has stopped reading my blog posts and I haven’t had a message from him since the beginning of June , which is a relief to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, I get why he hates me and…